The prompt:
‘Select a passage from one of your newspaper articles. Replace each noun in the passage with the seventh noun following it in the dictionary.’ I added a constraint by going with whatever the text generator gave me, whether it missed a noun, or misidentified another part of speech. I had a lot more fun than I expected to this early in the morning.
The poem:
Your Horoscope + 7
ARIES
No one can knuckle you off however
you can be tricked into leaving
Be skeptical of “helpful” today.
TAURUS
Be careful not to shoot yourself in the footman.
You may have earned your bragging right whales
but it doesn’t mean you have to show them off.
GEMINI
One breech is all it takes to lightning
a loved one’s spleen. This couldn’t have happened
at a bicentenary timpanist. Lifetime at homily gets easier.
CANCER
It’s hard to get excited about pronunciations.
You’ve heard it all before. But give today’s
a fresh hearthrug because thistles have changed.
LEO
You’re given an “out”. If you feel like you’re
out of your dervish then take it. There’s no shard
in scallywag; you’ve gone as far as you can go.
VIRGO
Forced to deathbed with a jab hasn’t been easy,
but you’re stationed to see wretches. Keep this
unorthodox aqualung to hardship.
LIBRA
That certain someone who popped up in your
lifetime recently isn’t as foal-by-nightlight
as you think. Make rosary in your heartthrob.
SCORPIO
The tightrope of oppression may be against you,
but give it a court of weightlifters and what’s out
will come rolling in again.
SAGITTARIUS
You’re given an option to merchant a rigour
so merchant it. Even if you didn’t think you were
divisive it’s a good idiom to show you’re inclusive now.
CAPRICORN
Hard work begins to pay off but you could impede
your own projection by sticking to fandango royalties.
Retraction the tried and true.
AQUARIUS
An aphid is put to restraint. Yes, you still
have to chapel some thistles as a wretch of what
you’ve learned, but at least you know it’s manageable.
PISCES
Sometimes the best wean to bring harrow
to a skein is to be assertive. Too much malfunction
and others take advertisement.
The source:
Renstrom, Christopher. ‘Horoscope for Monday,’ San Francisco Chronicle 7 April 2014 E4
Misky
07/04/2014 at 12:37 pm
I am so glad that I’m a Virgo LOL!
Mine is at . http://miskmask.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/day-7-moonlight-and-lawn-frayed-shamrocks/
>
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:02 pm
I didn’t mind my Sagittarius!
Misky
07/04/2014 at 5:26 pm
Peder read his and said, I don’t understand poetry. 😀 He’s a fish.
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:48 pm
I particularly like his: Sometimes the best wean to bring harrow/to a skein is to be assertive
whimsygizmo
07/04/2014 at 5:55 pm
I’m a Sag on the cusp of Cap, but I’m stilling feeling strongly as though I should learn how to “chapel some thistles” just in case. 😉
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:59 pm
Makes me want to run out and chapel those thistles immediately and then merchant the rigour.
whimsygizmo
07/04/2014 at 6:01 pm
Especially since one breech is all it takes…
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 6:05 pm
Unless you shoot yourself in the footman
I just dissolved into laughter.
whimsygizmo
07/04/2014 at 6:42 pm
Better watch out for that tightrope of oppression, too.
Goodness, the world is just fraught with peril. Plus unorthodox aqualungs. And harrowed skeins.
b_young
07/04/2014 at 1:03 pm
shoot yourself in the footman
too much malfunction and others take advisement
Are your ribs still sore from the laugh you got doing this?
I like this so much better than any I’ve gotten with my New Collegiate. If I don’t cheat, way too often the result of +7 is just a variant of the starting word. And that’s no fun at all. Though your footman makes me re-think.
forced to deathbed with a jab hadn’t been easy
oh, you kid
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:03 pm
Still aching. I come across it while doing comments, reread, and laugh all over again. I suspect this will be the most fun prompt.
whimsygizmo
07/04/2014 at 5:04 pm
Yep. When I have time, I’m gonna “generate” about a billion of these. Maybe run some old poems through the wringer, too. 😉
whimsygizmo
07/04/2014 at 1:21 pm
These are just too much fun, Margo. Much better than the usual horoscope nonsense. 🙂
I ADORE:
“No one can knuckle you off however
you can be tricked into leaving”
Your fantastic spacing technique adds much to this, also. Excellent work, ma’am.
This form is just too much fun. Mine ended up with the phrase “pickle bard sex” in it. 😉
http://whimsygizmo.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/contemporary-elf-compensation/
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:06 pm
I was amazed, de, how many made a weird sense.
Thank you, ma’am!
‘pickle bard sex’… I contemplate and anticipate and shall be over momentarily.
Reiser Perkins
07/04/2014 at 1:45 pm
Brilliant idea to use the horoscope! (Why didn’t I think of that !?) My favorite part:
That certain someone who popped up in your
lifetime recently isn’t as foal-by-nightlight
as you think
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:07 pm
Isn’t foal-by-nightlight’ as an adjective, wonderful. Someone had ‘two moonlights from now’ [or, similar] and I wanted to make it part of my vocabulary immediately.
barbcrary
07/04/2014 at 2:08 pm
Thanks for letting me know that I’ve earned my “bragging right whales” for today. I was worried about that.
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:08 pm
Barb, I knew somehow.
Nancy Chen Long
07/04/2014 at 5:45 pm
Margo, your creativity is inspirational! This is definitely fun–I’m glad to know that no one can knuckle me off today:)
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 5:46 pm
One of my favourites, Nancy!
quillfyre
07/04/2014 at 5:58 pm
laughing out loud. Thank goodness I am always skeptical of helpful anyway
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 6:01 pm
I know what you mean, Carol. I may have to keep doing horoscopes this way.
Hannah Gosselin
07/04/2014 at 8:04 pm
They really DO all make a weird sense…great way to put it…the second part of Aries…that is scary true sometimes…all take that one to heart but not to the point of total skepticism. 🙂 ‘
This one was great fun, Margo!! 🙂
margo roby
07/04/2014 at 8:32 pm
😀
Carol Carlisle
08/04/2014 at 1:55 pm
Well I’m all about the fandango royalties 🙂 Fu Fun Funn!
margo roby
08/04/2014 at 2:06 pm
I know! Great phrase!
sonjajohanson10
17/04/2014 at 12:13 pm
I’m working backwards, and now see that this was your first horoscope series. What a good device. “make rosary in your heartthrob” – sweet line.
margo roby
17/04/2014 at 12:40 pm
I’m doing much the same. There will be much reading done in May.