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NaPoWriMo: Legal at 21

21 Apr

Are we there yet? No? I am at the point where I am trawling back through prompts I haven’t done to find ones I can manage. We’re all going to be crawling by the 30th, aren’t we?

The prompt is from Poets & Writers #19 where they tell us to Choose a poem that you’ve written and rewrite it in its reverse, making the last line the first, etc. Revise this version, creating a new poem. The poem is one from my early years with a lot of the images that I keep being tempted to put in poems and have to remind myself I have [in fact, a form of the poem was published in the ezine Long Story Short, back when it was not quite so glitzy]. I didn’t change the poem much. Help! I’m losing my ruthless edge!

Original:

Inclined to wander in my thoughts
I find I put myself behind dilemmas
opening tunnels to the minotaurs
fly-papered in my memories
stretching miles ahead labyrinthine.

And I twist and turn tangling
the sheets my thoughts
in an endless Moebius loop.

I will escape beyond,
flying paper dreams
like summer kites;
live this year, instead
a peddler of sun-washed crystal
just you reflected,

priceless

to fly free and dream dreams
forget about if only.

*****************two drafts
*****************

Reversed Rewrite:

Live this year
like summer kites,
flying paper dreams.

Forget about if only —
fly free,
dream dreams

escape beyond
the stretching, tangling
miles ahead —

thoughts fly-papered
in memory —
dream dreams

fly free.

 

 
11 Comments

Posted by on 21/04/2013 in exercises, poetry, writing

 

Tags: ,

11 responses to “NaPoWriMo: Legal at 21

  1. Stan Ski

    21/04/2013 at 4:49 pm

    ‘Fly free’, ‘dream dreams’… With you all the way!

     
  2. Quickly

    21/04/2013 at 6:09 pm

    I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly

     
  3. Elizabeth

    22/04/2013 at 2:21 am

    I like both, but the second one somehow really enhances the concept of fly free, in its form and it’s sound and rhythms, it almost dances down the page.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/04/20/after-breaking/

     
    • margo roby

      22/04/2013 at 10:53 am

      Thanks, Elizabeth. I like that I had a chance to prune it. Having this prompt and this approach helped.

      m

       
  4. jacquelinecaseypoetry

    22/04/2013 at 10:52 am

    I like the second version best. Not sure why. More ‘direct’.

     
    • margo roby

      22/04/2013 at 10:54 am

      Thank you, Jacqueline. I agree with you. I think my ruthless pruning got rid of what was holding it down. It feels lighter.

       
  5. julespaige

    22/04/2013 at 12:42 pm

    Almost zen like the second version. A new mantra at least for the rest of this month? 🙂

     

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