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NaPoWriMo: Let’s Shelve Twelve

12 Apr

9:30 a.m. — Atlanta

listening to Kipikoa by the Cazimero Brothers (contemporary Hawaiian music)

When did I start with the rhyming thing in the title? Too much pressure. Last day for that! Hello all. I don’t know about you, but I will be glad to get my blog back and my regular routine.

I am going to set today’s poems before you and assume, by now, you have all the April prompt places bookmarked. If not, give me a shout in comments.

The first poem is in response to Miz Quickly’s prompt to Choose one of the poems you’ve written this month and play with it. She gives us a number of alternatives. I chose the cut-up and liked the result, so different from my usual contained style, that I did very little outside of line breaks and removing a couple of words. I also played with spacing, something one of my fellow remixers, Mary Bast, does particularly well. If you check out her poem, you want the version below the collage; note the effect having and not having the extra spaces has on reading. It works differently from commas and dashes. I’m not sure why.

My poem is a mix of parts of three that I have posted so far, this month. I am ridiculously happy with the playing!

gnawing that spined Lobster   scissors
spreads spreads    Cat on Lobster
balancing on glides    prey    looking
spreads scissors black    glides sky   terror-born,
for swallowtail blades small    garde!
Her    her    black gnawing    through blades unsheath
the spined kite    even outstretched wings
outstretched    spreads swallowtail blades

The second I probably would not post on its own. But, as long as we are playing. It’s an oulipo, in response to Poets & Writers April 10 prompt. Check it for a lucid explanation. My apologies to Karl Shapiro and his poem, ‘Manhole Covers‘.

Maniac Cows
The beauty of maniac cows–what of that?
Like medians struck by a great savage kick-off,
like Mayan californium stoppers, unliftable, indecipherable,
not like the old elephant, chased and scored,
mottoed and sculptured to a turnip,
but notched and whelked and pocked and smashed
with the great compass nanny-goats
(Gentle Better, smiling United Station).
This rustproof artiste of my stress,
long after roadways are melted away will lie
sidewise in the gravitation of the iron-ware worm,
bitten at the edits,
strong with its cryptic Amino acid,
its dated becoming.

Mm Hmm. I can cross oulipos off my list of forms to try someday. To read one, that I think works, check Joseph Harker’s at Naming Constellations.

You will have noticed, I’m sure, that I have links to three prompts, cleverly embedded [okay, you have to walk a little to get to Joseph’s but what a fun walk].

Happy writing, all.

 

 

 
21 Comments

Posted by on 12/04/2013 in exercises, poetry, writing

 

Tags: , , , , ,

21 responses to “NaPoWriMo: Let’s Shelve Twelve

  1. mizquickly

    12/04/2013 at 10:25 am

    I don’t know–kinda like your oul. Especially the great compass nanny goats and their names.

    But your cut-up, that’s interesting. Is it just me, or does it really build intensity? “swallowtail blades” How would they look?

     
    • margo roby

      12/04/2013 at 10:52 am

      Barbara, this was my second stab — finding the right poem is crucial — and it’s a lot better than the first. I rather like the goats, too.

      It’s not just you. I am fascinated with how poem the cut up is. I think it’s the repetition and, I’m going into the unknown here, possibly the spacing.

       
      • mizquickly

        12/04/2013 at 1:42 pm

        I am always surprised by the effect of repeated articles, or for that matter, any words that would not be repeated. It’s a little like the drummer taking a ride.

         
  2. viv blake

    12/04/2013 at 2:22 pm

    Congratulations, Margo for a stupendous effort – how you think of all these metaphors and unusual similes I’ll never know. I tried all those cut up and re-shape toys and gave up on the gobbledegook that was the result.

     
    • margo roby

      12/04/2013 at 2:38 pm

      ViV, I allowed myself to bask for a moment, but, the metaphors are the cutup machine’s. The oulipo’s the serendipity of the dictionary. I am not good at metaphor — getting better — and this sort of thing helps me.

       
  3. Pamela

    12/04/2013 at 2:37 pm

    Margo, I like the results of the cut up. Very interesting. I am also fond of the oulipo, the animals add a lot of character to it. I saw that prompt and my head started to hurt severely. I salute you on doing it. Nice work.

    Pamela

     
    • margo roby

      12/04/2013 at 2:39 pm

      Thanks, Pamela. I had to laugh at the prompt making your head hurt because I have run into a couple of those this week. That’s my guide: if my head hurts, I run!

      margo

       
  4. Stan Ski

    12/04/2013 at 5:52 pm

    My head’s spinning… 🙂

     
    • margo roby

      13/04/2013 at 9:16 am

      Get off the merry-go-round Stan. How many times do I have to tell you 🙂

       
  5. Marianne

    12/04/2013 at 6:28 pm

    Well done, Margo! This was great fun to read!

     
    • margo roby

      13/04/2013 at 9:17 am

      Thanks, Marianne. The cut-up machine may save me now I have discovered it!

       
  6. julespaige

    12/04/2013 at 6:45 pm

    I think I will succeed better at playing catch up tomorrow. I like your ‘cut up’ because I remember some of the pieces it came from. Butterflies are sharper than one thinks…take the Painted Lady that mimics the Monarch. Most bugs know the Monarch is poisonous. The Painted Lady isn’t but survives just one day longer perhaps because of her ‘sharp’ mimic.

    I played with Miz Q here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2013/04/shipping-miz-q-12.html

     
    • margo roby

      13/04/2013 at 9:18 am

      Jules I’ll try and come by later. We have family visiting from Texas. I’m trying to keep my chin above water.

       
      • julespaige

        13/04/2013 at 9:43 am

        Enjoy your family!!! That always should come first. 🙂

         
  7. Elizabeth

    12/04/2013 at 8:21 pm

    I enjoyed the playing, when the gobbledegook came back, there were so many suggestions that offered themselves, that most of my time was taken up choosing between them. I will definitely do that again and again, lol. I like the cut up Margo, like the sounds and feel of it. But, am with Pamela on the other, my head also hurt after trying to figure it out.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/while-the-pelican-was-water-skiing/

     
    • margo roby

      13/04/2013 at 9:19 am

      Elizabeth, I am happy to never do an oulipo again and to be able to say I tried one. But, the cut-up machine! That may save me in the next several days.

      margo

       
  8. Carol Carlisle

    12/04/2013 at 8:38 pm

    You just let go and fly, Wow!

     
    • margo roby

      13/04/2013 at 9:19 am

      Not something I do often, Carol!

       
  9. brenda w

    12/04/2013 at 9:15 pm

    This prompt was fun, and it bore fruit for you! I love that you felt “ridiculously happy.” I was close, but only because it made writing so damn easy tonight. 😉

     
    • margo roby

      13/04/2013 at 9:20 am

      I just read yours, Brenda, and liked it very much. I’m thinking I may have several cut-up poems in the next few days.

       

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