RSS

Response to The Sunday Whirl

08 Jul

Good day, everyone. I hope all is well. I do love watching to see where the words take me.

Closed Drawers

Some housewives
do not spurn
an eternity
of dust balls,
live ignorant of worlds
beyond their world,
each year
subtracting months until,
rind peeled,
they fall
to death’s sting.

Thanks, as ever, to Brenda and her words. You can find them both at The Sunday Whirl, so visit and read and maybe even write.

 
64 Comments

Posted by on 08/07/2012 in exercises, poetry, writing

 

Tags: , ,

64 responses to “Response to The Sunday Whirl

  1. anl4

    08/07/2012 at 10:10 am

    You live, “shit” happens, then you die. Nice write.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:33 pm

      Yep. Thank you, Annell. I’m grinning.

       
  2. Misky

    08/07/2012 at 10:17 am

    Nice and tight and tidy. Thrifty use of the words, too. I’m working on mine but it’s turned into Gone with the Wind with an intermission midway through. Needs some nip and tucking before posting.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:34 pm

      Misky, love your description of yours.

       
    • tmhHoover

      10/07/2012 at 12:21 am

      Just had to say this absolutely cracked me up Misky.

       
  3. Marianne

    08/07/2012 at 10:54 am

    I love your title! “Rind peeled, they fall to death’s sting” is a spectacular ending!

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:35 pm

      Thank you, Marianne. It was a case of, What the heck do I do with this word. And, thank you re the ending. I rather like it myself.

       
  4. Annette Mickelson

    08/07/2012 at 11:35 am

    Once again, you nailed the wordle!

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:36 pm

      Sending a smile your way, Annette. Thank you!

       
  5. Daydreamertoo

    08/07/2012 at 12:02 pm

    Very concise and fitting for so many wives whose lives become exactly like that. πŸ™‚

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:38 pm

      Thank you, Rebecca. These are the ones who interest me because they choose this, not the housewife bit alone, as there is nothing wrong with that, but the making it their world.

       
  6. markwindham

    08/07/2012 at 12:15 pm

    something to be said for being content with your lot, something also a bit sad about never getting past it.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:40 pm

      You nailed the poem’s theme, Mark.

       
  7. whimsygizmo

    08/07/2012 at 12:24 pm

    Ohhhh. This is indeed tight, and tidy. I do believe you and I have tried to say the same thing (ish), but you have said it in far fewer words. πŸ˜‰ Cheers, friend! Hope summer is treating you well.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:42 pm

      de, I believe we have… did. Summer is treating my part of the world well, so I am fine! I’m thinking your part of the world is pretty much the same as usual, yes? Enjoy, no matter what and think of tall, cool, mojitos.

       
  8. Mr. Walker

    08/07/2012 at 1:41 pm

    Margo, a perfect title. I guess there are people like that, aren’t there? The “do not spurn” line really makes it for me; it speaks volumes.

    Richard

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:43 pm

      Richard, the title began because I didn’t know what to do with ‘drawer’ and then I came up with that. There are, indeed, people like that. Many, I suspect.

       
  9. Paige

    08/07/2012 at 1:44 pm

    a quiet power that builds to a strong, true bite.

     
  10. Laurie Kolp

    08/07/2012 at 2:56 pm

    This is so tight, yet so profound. I like how you manage to keep the wordle succinct!

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:45 pm

      Laurie, thank you so much. I do enjoy the ones that stay spare.

       
  11. JulesPaige

    08/07/2012 at 2:57 pm

    They say that the modern Woman should be able to do both…housefrau and workhorse. There is always a balance. I like reading those stories of retired gals getting their second winds and going back for degrees, or traveling, and living – taking risks. Heck if Miss Paula Dean can go on a family vacation and go on a rip-cord through a rain forest jungle maybe I can too!

    Thanks for your visit. It is interesting to see how rind got used, also housewives since my first glace at the comments that second wordle had knickers twisted πŸ˜‰

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:45 pm

      Of course, you can, Jules. Make sure hubby is taking video πŸ™‚

       
  12. Mary

    08/07/2012 at 4:10 pm

    Yes, such is the fate of some housewives and some people who are not housewives (actually I hate that word ‘housewives’) to be ignorant of worlds beyond their worlds. The lives of these people are shalllow, and I do not envy them. Life is too short not to be open to things beyone one’s own world.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 6:47 pm

      I know what you mean, Mary. The word gave me a problem for a while, as far as my approach here.

      My mother would say life is too long not to be open to things.

       
  13. brenda w

    08/07/2012 at 5:26 pm

    Oh ho! Those last three lines are astounding. Love this one!

     
  14. margo roby

    08/07/2012 at 6:48 pm

    Brenda, an ‘Oh ho!’ makes my evening! Thank you.

     
  15. 1sojournal

    08/07/2012 at 7:46 pm

    I would have to echo everything that has already been said. I have a pic of myself at eighteen months. The photographer kept holding out a colorful ball and then taking it away when I would reach for it. It is obvious (in the pic) that I’m angry and reaching with both hands. It was a curiosity to me, that my mother chose that photo instead of another more happy placid child. Now, I keep it on my dresser to remind me that unless we choose to reach beyond ourselves, our own little world, we are all in danger of becoming your poem, even those of us who are not housewives. Am thinking my Mother was a hell of a wise woman,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/07/08/in-one-flashing-moment/

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 11:16 pm

      Elizabeth, I think many mothers probably were/are wise women. Your use of ‘choose’ in your comment says it all; the choice only doesn’t work when people use it to hide behind. My mother and I were talking today about her realising it’s okay to say ‘I choose to’ or ‘I choose not to’ as she continues to create her life in her eighties.

      margo

       
  16. pmwanken

    08/07/2012 at 8:58 pm

    Interesting. The first lines led me to picture a very content person who was not too fastidious…a laid back mom/wife/woman. I know a lot of people back home that would fit those lines. But then you went in the direction of ignorance and almost a feeling of hopelessness as they just mark time until death. I would imagine the scenario you wrote exists for many…but not all. Life for many back home is not that bleak.

     
    • pmwanken

      08/07/2012 at 9:01 pm

      Ack. I posted before I finished…silly touch pad…

      Anyway…all that said, you have a mastery of writing a concise wordle, my friend. One that fits together flawlessly and still holds meaning.

      *hugs*

      (ok…NOW is when I will hit “post”….)

       
      • margo roby

        08/07/2012 at 11:24 pm

        Paula, the first woman you describe is the one who chooses the life she wants, and still stays in the world. As I say to Elizabeth, the problem arises when people pull away from the world and bury themselves in house and children. At some point the children leave and then what? The house in and of itself cannot be enough, with nothing else, yes?

        Such deep ponderings πŸ˜€

        =hugs=

         
  17. Diane Belleville

    08/07/2012 at 11:25 pm

    Excellent, well done, I did in a first write get into the rind peels and ignorance . Glad to see someone else did too.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 11:28 pm

      Thank you, Diane! I’ll come over and read yours.

       
  18. Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

    08/07/2012 at 11:43 pm

    I did not think of taking the wordle in the direction of mortality, cleverly done. Excellent poem.

     
    • margo roby

      08/07/2012 at 11:53 pm

      Thank you, Jo Ann! I just returned from visiting you.

       
  19. Irene

    09/07/2012 at 6:48 am

    Like, from one who spurns dust balls.There’s a subtracting quality about the lines. I think you wielded the words/lines so well. Maybe we should outlaw the word “housewives”, it’s so disparaging somehow.

     
    • margo roby

      09/07/2012 at 11:53 am

      ‘Wielded’ — I love that, Irene.

      My immediate reaction is to agree that housewives as a term should go, except that now it is a perfect term for women married to their houses and housework and housekeeping.

       
  20. wordsandthoughtspjs

    09/07/2012 at 11:55 am

    Hi Margo, you do hit us with the inevitable truth with those last few lines. Nice concise piece of writing.

    (I am feeling rather ill and now just getting round to read)

    Pamela

     
    • margo roby

      09/07/2012 at 12:02 pm

      Oh, Pamela, I am so sorry you aren’t well. That’s something that isn’t any easier no matter how grown up we get.

      Thank you for your comment. Now, back to resting!

      margo

       
  21. Walt Wojtanik

    09/07/2012 at 12:56 pm

    Another name for which I search and as always never walk away unsatisfied. Nicely written, Margo.

     
    • margo roby

      09/07/2012 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you, Walt. That is an entirely sweet thing to say.

       
  22. brenda w

    09/07/2012 at 4:21 pm

    Wanted to let you know that I love this one so much, I had to come and read it again. Oh ho!

     
    • margo roby

      09/07/2012 at 5:25 pm

      Brenda — I am undone. A reread and a second, Oho! I shall have to take to the couch and rest πŸ™‚

       
  23. tmhHoover

    10/07/2012 at 12:28 am

    Margo- I love your pointed little piece. Thankfully life lets us live beyond age 42 and we have time to recreate ourselves anew. The letting go of the housewife image (although I never fit the mold) has taken more effort than I care to admit. I am getting there- LOL

     
    • margo roby

      10/07/2012 at 12:06 pm

      Teri, I had to laugh at your never fitting the mold. I didn’t even know there was a mold. I’ll be there to greet you when you get there. Having said that, I still have to tell myself it’s okay when my husband gets the duster. It’s not a criticism; he just noticed dust and is taking care of it. I think that’s the part that is hard to lose, the feeling we are supposed to be doing house things.

       
      • teri

        11/07/2012 at 8:55 am

        I am sure you have observed how I swerve away from prompts…well the same goes for the “mold” of housewife. (now there’s a thought..a moldy housewife). The problem is my mind keeps saying “there is a right way” to do this. This being anything from writing, to art, to being a housewife. It is more a feeling of I did not do “it” right …whatever it is. So since I am a bit of a rebel I don’t feel guilt as much as …. I don’t know the word I am looking for.

        Anyway my dear …how much do you charge for these self discovery sessions? xo teri

         
        • margo roby

          11/07/2012 at 2:51 pm

          Teri – have you seen me anywhere but wordles? Okay, once or twice on WWP, but I do not do well with them. I look at the wordles as a stretching exercise in areas where I feel my poetry is weak, rather than a prompt. I do not do well with prompts, unless in a live workshop.

          Visual helps. Tack up a notecard somewhere where you will see it, say a cupboard you open a couple of times a day [not somewhere where you see it all the time]. On the notecard write: there is no right way — you’d be surprised how the brain absorbs that continual reminder. I have learned over the past few years that talking directly to our brains [studies are bearing this out] has an effect.

          I love that you are a rebel. That’s what my friends, colleagues and students called me. Yeh… it’s not guilt… it’s, well shoot. I’m not sure there is a word. Is it a feeling of “Hmmm, I wonder if I’m wrong.” before you go ahead with your direction. Just a slight doubt, but not enough to do more than give pause.

          Hugs, Teri, hugs, or possibly margaritas,

          xom

           
  24. gladiuspoeticus

    10/07/2012 at 1:21 am

    Short, clear and simple truth.. Thanks!

     
    • margo roby

      10/07/2012 at 12:07 pm

      gladius… thank you. I figure truths work best this way!

       
      • gladiuspoeticus

        10/07/2012 at 12:30 pm

        They sure do, Margo. That’s why I’m not a big spender on words unless they contribute to the essence of the poem. Same with you, huh?

         
        • margo roby

          10/07/2012 at 1:01 pm

          Absolutely, gladius, which is a good thing, as I tend to be spare. Metaphors are difficult for me and imagery is stripped down. The poets I love tend to write the same way. After all, we are trying to communicate truths, so why would we bury them in language?!

           
          • gladiuspoeticus

            10/07/2012 at 1:28 pm

            In that casa you’ll love me too, as a poet that is. Great to meet and be friends.

             
  25. vivinfrance

    10/07/2012 at 2:15 am

    Deep and crisp and even describes this wonderful poem, like Wenceslaus’s snow You made me think back to my young married days, cut off and rather obsessed with dust balls. Thank goodness I re-discovered the world and plunged back in.

     
    • margo roby

      10/07/2012 at 12:09 pm

      I love that carol, ViV. Now I’m going to sing it all day! Thank you, for the comment and the song πŸ™‚ Skip had to introduce me to all things house, as my parents had a staff all my life. I had a steep learning curve. Never did quite conquer it.

       
  26. Veronica Roth

    10/07/2012 at 5:51 am

    Oh Margo, that hit me as so sad. That resignation, you know, to be stuck in a myopic world. Beautifully done! I love it when I feel so much emotion reading a poem.

     
    • margo roby

      10/07/2012 at 12:11 pm

      It is sad, isn’t it, Veronica, especially as I suspect there are many out there, still. I agree with you about the emotional connection with a poem. Nothing quite like it, so thank you for telling me.

       
  27. Hannah Gosselin

    10/07/2012 at 4:44 pm

    Rolling with the punches…nice easy way to be! Nice one Margo!!

     
    • margo roby

      10/07/2012 at 7:50 pm

      Hannah, I didn’t reach 59 taking them πŸ˜€ Thank you!

       
      • Hannah Gosselin

        10/07/2012 at 8:19 pm

        You’re welcome…sometimes the mundane drives me insane other times not so much…guess it all depends.

         
  28. Cheryl's Excellent Adventure

    10/07/2012 at 6:54 pm

    You did good, sista! We both thought of orange rind. he he.

     
    • margo roby

      10/07/2012 at 7:54 pm

      Cheryl, There seems to be a lot of peeled rind around πŸ™‚

       

Join the discussion and feel free to critique, or suggest an idea for any poem I post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: