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Wordle #56 Response

12 May

Hello. I didn’t expect to be here quite so quickly, but had the poem down, in response to Brenda’s wordle, within an hour of receiving the words. The only thing that changed between the first and second draft was the order of the stanzas. When I first wrote them I knew I wanted short stanzas, each with a thought, but my focus was on the words working. Then, I reordered the stanzas and was done.

The Inner Voice

She may have elaborated to herself the significance
of following established rules.

She may have held close to her heart her intention
to visit the goddess.

She may even have picked up the string of sacred flags
that led to the summit.

But she forgot the demons indigenous to her mind,
the ones that drowned all thought.

Like Brenda, I am looking forward to seeing what others do with these words. Remember to visit The Sunday Whirl tomorrow [or today, depending on when you are reading this] to see the posted poems.

Have a lovely rest of the weekend. Happy writing.

 
37 Comments

Posted by on 12/05/2012 in exercises, poetry, writing

 

Tags: , , , ,

37 responses to “Wordle #56 Response

  1. vivinfrance

    13/05/2012 at 3:50 am

    Wow Margo, this is brilliant and so quick and so economical with the words. I bow!

     
    • margo roby

      13/05/2012 at 9:48 am

      Thank you, ViV. Not sure I can take credit when a poem appears so quickly and so whole. But I will!

       
  2. JulesPaige

    13/05/2012 at 6:16 am

    A second Wow and nod of pen! I purposely didn’t open this post until now…not wanting to be influenced by you my dear! But like you I had a ‘plan’ …My original two stanzas came first, the second part started to get boggy, so I rewrote that and I am content with how it turned out:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/matter-of-interpretation-sw-wordle-56.html

     
    • margo roby

      13/05/2012 at 9:49 am

      Thanks, Jules. I like how yours turned out, too.

       
  3. Daydreamertoo

    13/05/2012 at 9:14 am

    That old demon of self doubt, it’s a killer.
    Fabulous write:

     
    • margo roby

      13/05/2012 at 9:51 am

      It is a killer, isn’t it, ddt? Good to see you!

       
  4. brenda w

    13/05/2012 at 9:19 am

    To a certain degree, the words mirror the source. I love the concept, and your process. Each short stanza does convey a thought…that’s an interesting way to attack the words, Margo. Darn those demons.

     
    • margo roby

      13/05/2012 at 9:52 am

      Brenda, Hard to keep those demons down… maybe Pinot πŸ™‚ I’m heading over to check out the source.

       
  5. Mary

    13/05/2012 at 11:44 am

    Margo, you definitely made the most of those wordle words. So often intentions to visit the goddess are interfered with by those darned demons! Hopefully he/she will regain the positive direction and travel on!

     
    • margo roby

      13/05/2012 at 12:13 pm

      Thank you, Mary. Wouldn’t it be nice if people could play whack-a-mole with the demons when they appear.

       
  6. Laurie Kolp

    13/05/2012 at 12:06 pm

    Wow- that’s a fantastic ending.

     
    • margo roby

      13/05/2012 at 12:14 pm

      Thanks, Laurie. I didn’t know I was going there ’til I got there.

       
  7. Hannah Gosselin

    13/05/2012 at 1:37 pm

    This is so effective to use the repeating of “she,” this and that throughout! It really carries it along smoothly. Speaking of smooth, you fit words like magic. Great whirl, Margo!

     
  8. markwindham

    13/05/2012 at 1:37 pm

    Love. My favorite, short, concise, complete, meaningful. (first read i wanted the ‘but’ dropped from last stanza…liked it more by third read…)

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 7:53 am

      Thank you, mark. I had the same feeling as you re ‘but’. I went back and forth on it and decided that’s what works… for now πŸ™‚

       
  9. magicalmysticalteacher

    13/05/2012 at 1:57 pm

    But of course she forgot those demons…because they drowned her thoughts! (I hope you were being somewhat sardonic with that last stanza. If not, please forgive my own sardonic take!)

     
  10. Marianne

    13/05/2012 at 2:04 pm

    Powerful write, Margo! I love: “string of sacred flags that led to the summit.” Great image!

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 7:55 am

      Thanks, Marianne. I have seen the prayer flags in Tibet and it’s an image not to be forgotten.

       
  11. wordsandthoughtspjs

    13/05/2012 at 4:23 pm

    Powerful and concise, Margo. I love the direction you went with the words.

    Pamela
    Happy Mother’s Day!

     
  12. 1sojournal

    13/05/2012 at 5:01 pm

    Really like the form you chose. Works well with this batch of words. And by all means you should take credit for this creation. You were open to it and that”s all that counts.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/reflection/

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 7:57 am

      Thank you, Elizabeth. I had the rough draft handwritten in the separate thoughts and liked the way it looked, thus the form

       
  13. Misky

    13/05/2012 at 5:34 pm

    The final stanza is one of those own-goal sort of things. Very good.

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 7:57 am

      Yeees, Misky. One of the more difficult own goals!

       
  14. Irene

    13/05/2012 at 7:21 pm

    Funny but we both picked up on flags to the summit and that seems genius now that we know where the words came from.

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 7:58 am

      I like being genius with you, Irene.

       
  15. Walt Wojtanik

    13/05/2012 at 9:12 pm

    The brevity gives your work its power. Short jabs work best! πŸ˜€

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 7:58 am

      Thanks, Walt. I’m rather fond of the short jab πŸ™‚

       
  16. Mr. Walker

    14/05/2012 at 9:16 am

    Margo, so concise. And that punch at the end. I love “demons indigenous to her mind” – that’s such a great pairing – a wonderfully dark image.

    Richard

     
    • margo roby

      14/05/2012 at 9:18 am

      Thank you, Richard. That image is from the heart, so to speak. I know it all too well.

      margo

       
  17. tmhHoover

    14/05/2012 at 11:43 pm

    Demons you say? They had nothing on you. You held tight to the flags and never looked back on this one. As for me I am swamped right now with work-damn work demons.

     
    • margo roby

      15/05/2012 at 7:48 am

      I’ll keep holding tight, Teri. Those demons are insidious. I am glad that I have been able, finally, to crush the work-damn work demons πŸ™‚ Your time will come!

      margo

       
  18. purplepeninportland

    15/05/2012 at 1:24 pm

    I love “demons indigenous to her mind” – such a different approach.

     
    • margo roby

      15/05/2012 at 2:21 pm

      Thank you, Sara. It is my favourite line!

       

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