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Response to Wordle #38

08 Jan

Happy Sunday everyone. I hope all are well. Brenda at The Sunday Whirl has given us words from a poem by Thich Nhat Hanh. Visit The Whirl both to read the original poem and to read poems by others from the words.

towards a light

fluttering
bubbling
breathing
rising to the surface
thousands grope
towards a light
in their lives
forgotten

wanting to rebuild
to have a gate
to open and close
solid stones to surround
thatched roofs
to cover
and the flash of a fire
lighting the hearth

thousands grope
rising to the surface
breathing
bubbling
fluttering

Notes: This poem is one of those that wrote itself, practically as I copied down the words. When I initially write the words down, I start grouping. Then, I go away and come back a couple of times and jot notes, draw arrows. This time, when I came back and ran the words through my head, the poem was there. No punctuation. I know. Revolutionary for me. I sat and stared for quite a while until I realised I was not going to punctuate and I might as well give up and go to bed.

If I may, I am giving early notice for two prompt posts that are joining the roundup. I didn’t want to wait until Friday. One is completely new, Joseph Harker, who is going to stretch us more than we might be comfortable with and that is why we should all race over to Naming Constellations and work the Reverie, which is what he will call the exercises. I have the easy part done and will endeavour the difficult part today.

The second notice is for Mary and Co. over at the Poetry Jam. They post on Tuesdays, a hitherto fairly empty stretch of the week. If you are a fan of colour, Peggy has this week’s prompt and it’s all about colour. And, you can also wander back through the other prompts. Can there ever be too many?

See you Tuesday for some idyll time; Thursday, for our first announcements — you can send me announcements at any time; and Friday for the roundup.

Happy writing all.

 
28 Comments

Posted by on 08/01/2012 in exercises, poetry, writing

 

Tags: , , , ,

28 responses to “Response to Wordle #38

  1. Daydreamertoo

    08/01/2012 at 8:54 am

    This is lovely, simple yet, so effective. Well penned.

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 9:46 am

      Thank you Daydreamer. I’ll be by in a bit.

      margo

       
  2. brenda w

    08/01/2012 at 9:09 am

    Renewal rises through your words, Margo. Provocative write, it pulls me through it.

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 9:48 am

      It was a fun write, Brenda. I do love wordling with you.

      margo

       
  3. Laurie Kolp

    08/01/2012 at 9:37 am

    The title says it all… I love this, Margo!

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 9:49 am

      Thank you, Laurie. Funny, the title took me a long time and I almost left it.

      margo

       
  4. anl4

    08/01/2012 at 9:47 am

    I do like what you did!

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 9:50 am

      Thanks, Annell. This was fun. I enjoy watching the wordling process almost as much as writing the poem.

      margo

       
  5. Mary

    08/01/2012 at 9:49 am

    I really like what you did with this, Margo. So true that thousands (millions perhaps) are groping toward the light, trying to find it in their lives. I love the repetition of the three words at the (near) beginning and the end, as they make me FEEL like I am somehow floating to the surface!

    (And thank you so much for the shout-out to Poetry Jam.)

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 9:51 am

      Thank you, Mary! That is exactly the effect I was hoping for.

      You are welcome 🙂

      margo

       
  6. Marianne

    08/01/2012 at 9:53 am

    Love, love, love this one, Margo! Your use of the words, without punctuation, is splendid. We are all searching, aren’t we?

    And thanks for sharing the prompt posts! I am writing more than ever thanks to all these wonderful prompt blogs.

     
  7. margo roby

    08/01/2012 at 10:05 am

    Thank you, Marianne, especially for the punctuation comment 🙂

    You are welcome. I love my time amongst the prompt blogs and then sharing them.

    margo

     
  8. wordsandthoughtspjs

    08/01/2012 at 12:52 pm

    Oh heck, Margo. I wish I hadn’t read this before posting mine. This is just lovely. The word “thatched” is giving me a fit.

    Pamela

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 12:57 pm

      Oh, Pamela, I had to laugh. But it was with you, not at you. I do know what you mean. It’s death to read someone else’s before our own is gone. So far, the most gorgeous use of ‘thatched’ is Brenda’s. Everyone else is typical but she uses hers metaphorically. If you haven’t read hers yet, go read the first stanza. That might give you an idea.

      Good luck 🙂

      margo

       
      • wordsandthoughtspjs

        08/01/2012 at 1:13 pm

        I refuse to read hers first, lol. (I don’t want to be influenced) I normally don’t read anyone else’s poems first. I wrote mine last night, but I am still fighting with “thatched” 🙂

        Pamela

         
  9. julespaige

    08/01/2012 at 2:35 pm

    Sun Jan 8, 2012 Daily
    With thanks to the Sunday Whirl prompt list of: loss, shovel, friends, expected, stop, plum, letters, drift, sweaters, wind, stitches, and yarn

    Sixteen Winters Ago

    A Blizzards’ expected snow requires a shovel
    The snow blower keeps the shaven rows plum as the loss of white
    Reveals the drives and walks, the wind laughs returning the drift

    Once we are able to stop we can gather in our indoor sweaters
    With his tales and mine, our stitches will create a new yarn
    That we’ll be able to share with friends in letters or over the phone

    Though we’ve yet to receive all that much snow this year –
    Unable to get to the fire house because of several feet in the
    In our Blizzard of ’96 – He almost delivered a baby up the street!

    ‘Always be prepared’ is a good motto for the Boy Scouts
    As well as other community volunteers, neighbors and friends
    Look for us we’ll be ready with our gear, tea, and hot coco too

    For now our sky is blue, the air has a chill, but it isn’t freezing
    I’ve just had some tea, and might settle down for a nap
    That is after I’ve picked up my needles and knit a few words…

    JP/davh
    Seems I found a different list? I couldn’t get to the Sunday Whirl through your link, Margo. But I was able to get this list from Brenda, who visited my wordpress site. I was able to go to the Sunday Whirl through her link. I’m glad she had a list, a bit easier to read than the colored words in the Whirl. Enjoy.

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 5:24 pm

      That’s odd, Jules, as I check all the links before publishing. You have last week’s list. Give my link another try this Friday and see what happens, although, by the time my links go up, almost everyone has posted for the whirl.

      I like the poem, the story quality of the narrative.

      m

       
  10. markwindham

    08/01/2012 at 2:45 pm

    All encompassing of basic human needs. From the masses to the minute. Like the repeat.revers of beginning and end as well.

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 5:26 pm

      Mmm. I left the focus deliberately vague for that reason, Mark. I was trying to figure out which thousands, and realised I meant any and all. Repetition is probably my favourite thing to play with.

      Now, I need to go find yours.

      m

       
  11. Traci B

    08/01/2012 at 5:29 pm

    Margo, I love the way this one was bookended with the last five lines reversing the first five. I’m glad you didn’t push the poem beyond this; it’s wonderful as is.

     
    • margo roby

      08/01/2012 at 5:34 pm

      Thank you, Traci. I have a strong inbuilt stop metre 🙂

      margo

       
  12. The Happy Amateur

    08/01/2012 at 6:17 pm

    It surprises me over and over again that so many different things can be done with the same bunch of words as a starting point. Amazing. I enjoyed your poem Margo. I’m one of those ‘bubbling and fluttering’, hoping to rise to the surface! 🙂

     
  13. Irene

    08/01/2012 at 7:17 pm

    I think the words drew us in the same direction and it’s interesting to see different results. And we all need to bubble with hope.

     
  14. Peggy Goetz

    08/01/2012 at 10:35 pm

    I love how unexpected things come from the wordles. I like this one. Write on!

     
    • margo roby

      09/01/2012 at 9:41 am

      Hi, Peggy.
      Now why do you suppose you got tossed into my spam queue? Fortunately I decided to check the spam today!
      Thanks for the comment.

      margo

       
  15. Ostensible Truth (OT)

    09/01/2012 at 3:51 pm

    I think it’s great when poetic inspiration bursts free beyond the confines of punctuation – I know exactly what you mean, sometimes when I write the rare quick piece, punctuation just doesn’t come into it – and I think, in those rare times, it suits the piece – as it does here! loved the circular feel to this -as it came back around to the fluttering, bubbling, breathing – as if back towards the light! very cleverly done! nice work!

     
    • margo roby

      09/01/2012 at 4:17 pm

      Thank you, OT. I did feel liberated, especially as I am usually strongly for punctuation as a tool for readers, but you are right, there are some poems that are meant to stand alone. The lack of punctuation becomes part of the poem.

      margo

       

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