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We Write Poems Prompt #84 — Poem in Response to

14 Dec

Every now and then, new followers, you will receive a random posting. Usually that means I have been lucky enough to create a poem in response to a prompt. It has been a while, but We Write Poems prompt #84 broke the wall with their image and suggestion of faces in a window.

pulled for revision

Process notes: Funny how things develop. I took a quick look at the image last week, when it appeared in my inbox, and left it. My brain did not leave it and later in the day I found myself thinking about faces forming on a windowpane and the way water and light can sometimes create images. I did not go back to WWP’s image as I had a clear one in my mind. Oddly, I wanted to use the etheree form from the beginning. I made my challenge ending each line with a strong word.

 
28 Comments

Posted by on 14/12/2011 in poetry, writing

 

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28 responses to “We Write Poems Prompt #84 — Poem in Response to

  1. nan

    14/12/2011 at 8:19 am

    Your poem took me through this moment – with recognition and appreciation.

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 8:30 am

      Thanks, Nan. We have all seen this moment, haven’t we?

      margo

       
  2. markwindham

    14/12/2011 at 8:48 am

    Excellent. Not a wasted syllable.

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 8:51 am

      Thanks, Mark. Keeping to a strict form is good for the brain muscles.

       
  3. Mary

    14/12/2011 at 9:58 am

    Margo: You have described beautifully the transition from the ‘face’ to the ‘rain.’ And the form you chose worked very well to show the ‘dissolving.’

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 12:51 pm

      Thank you, Mary. The first time I wrote it, I had the etheree the other way around and then a brain cell kicked in.

      margo

       
  4. Ruth

    14/12/2011 at 10:19 am

    Well done – I could see the face peering in and dissolving again into rain on glass… The etheree is one of my favourite forms, and perfect for this poem.

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 12:52 pm

      Thank you, Ruth. This my second etheree, but I like the form.

      margo

       
  5. anl4

    14/12/2011 at 10:44 am

    Beautifully done! I’m green!

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 12:54 pm

      The image of your lovely self literally green cracks me up. Thank you for the compliment.

      margo

       
  6. vivinfrance

    14/12/2011 at 11:21 am

    Excellent interpretation of the picture. I had a horrible time with it!

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 12:55 pm

      But, oh the final result, ViV. And part of what makes it is the inclusion of the picture ringed and with comment.

      margo

       
  7. Donald Harbour

    14/12/2011 at 11:59 am

    How-o-ma? Margo, I should send you a copy of the Hamster Dance then you could enjoy Happy Dance every day. People most often never stop to appreciate the small things that nature leaves for us to view, like rain forming images on a window pane. It is the consequence of leaving behind our childhood and never taking the wonderful imagination part of it with us into adulthood. You are obviously one of those who has held on to that treasure, you kid, you! This is a great poetic reflection and I like your vanishing form.
    Regards,
    Donald

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 1:03 pm

      Gn-aw ho[and you would not believe how long I sat trying to figure out how to spell the first word.].
      And, I have the hamster dance [did you doubt it for a moment?!], Don, but thank you for thinking of that particular smile maker. I have come to realise, in the year and a half since we returned to the States, that poems about the small things are something I really like to write. Carrying the child with me does have its problems but it is a lovely way to look at the world. Thank you for your kind words.

      margo

       
  8. wordsandthoughtspjs

    14/12/2011 at 12:10 pm

    Margo, I love your etheree, agreed, there is not a wasted syllable in this. Simply a beautiful interpretation of the image. It is nice to see you with us, it has been awhile.

    Pamela

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 1:04 pm

      Thank you, Pamela. It has been a while. I was so happy when I was able to write a poem. I may even try a wordle again!

      margo

       
  9. wayne

    14/12/2011 at 2:09 pm

    nicely done Margo…..thanks for sharing your words

     
  10. ravenswingpoetry

    14/12/2011 at 2:39 pm

    Hello Margo: The form lends itself well to the imagery…at first the faces which have formed themselves, and then the rain on the window reducing the images down to nothing, upon which is only left rain against the glass.

    I think sometimes, the first thought is the best thought. Bravo to you for so eloquently capturing your first thought.

    -Nicole

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 2:45 pm

      Hi Nicole, and thank you. I am big on catching the first thought. Those first thoughts have taken me wonderful places. I love the way you describe the effect of the form on the content.

      margo

       
  11. Joseph Harker

    14/12/2011 at 5:12 pm

    Good take on it, and I think you met your self-challenge well. Like Nicole says, the poem melts away as the rain runs down it, leaving its best pieces as it goes.

     
    • margo roby

      14/12/2011 at 5:47 pm

      Thank you, Joseph. I am hoping this heralds a return of the poetry brain.

      margo

       
  12. Annette @ Aspen Meadows

    14/12/2011 at 6:59 pm

    Well done! The images are well drawn, tight and vivid.

     
    • margo roby

      15/12/2011 at 7:38 am

      Thank you, Annette. That is what I love about a restrictive form!

      margo

       
  13. neil reid

    15/12/2011 at 12:55 am

    OK Margo, you got me – one more form I don’t know (no surprise). But I do like the result, the reduction or dimishment, a distillation of sorts – that worked here very well. Nice. Nice.

    I wonder how/if this reduction form might even be repeated in cascading steps, each one advancing an overlay greater whole, till those individual sums then also reduced the whole. Kind of symphonic? (But what do I know about proper forms!) šŸ™‚

    Thanks Margo.

    neil

     
    • margo roby

      15/12/2011 at 7:37 am

      Hah! she said in triumph, on reading Neil’s note…

      You do let me have much enjoyment when replying to your comments. I only learned this form a short time ago when I found it and introduced it on one of the Tuesday posts. It is usually presented from one to ten, but I wanted the diminishing effect. There are also doubles where one goes from one to ten and then ten to one syllables.

      I love your idea for the repeat in steps. See that you work on fleshing that out! And saying proper forms is trying to rile me, mister! There is no proper; there is what people create and then what others do to recreate.

      Hah!

      margo

       
  14. MiskMask

    15/12/2011 at 12:17 pm

    Exquisite use of form and imagery. Very nicely done, Margo.

     
    • margo roby

      15/12/2011 at 12:28 pm

      Thank you so much, MM. Glad to see you.

      margo

       

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