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Bout Rimes: Poem for dVerse

13 Feb

4:08 p.m. — Atlanta

I know: it has been a while since you have seen a post with a poem, but Tony Maude’s prompt, over at dVerse, tickled me. I discovered the iambic was no problem but my brain likes eight, rather than ten, syllables. I wasn’t about to argue.The result is rough and ready, but I had fun. If you haven’t been over, go check it out and give this form a try.

A Dark Side

Again my life’s in overdrive –
I strive to see the other side,
but lack the day — it’s always night
and always I know one who’s lied.

I live that I might make a wage
and yet if that is all I’ve saved
what kind of life will I have made?
Then, in the mirror can I face

that which in my soul I nurse?
I worship in a different church
but that is not what I find worse,
the constant filling of the purse;

it’s rather, now, when I look back
I won’t have found it worth all that.

 
48 Comments

Posted by on 13/02/2014 in poems

 

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48 responses to “Bout Rimes: Poem for dVerse

  1. brian miller

    13/02/2014 at 4:26 pm

    i def relate to the life in overdrive at times….ha
    think i would rather have a wage to live than live
    to make a wage..smiles. its interesting how our
    perspecitves change as we age as well…i think
    we learn to appreciate life…more than the work.
    nicely played.

     
  2. julespaige

    13/02/2014 at 4:32 pm

    :) I had enough woes with Qweely’s a/b/a/a/b/c/b/c/b – I can count…but meter is not my friend.
    Hope you are staying warm. We’ve had part one of our snow…about 8-10 inches. Part two is due in an hour or so and there may be a part three.

    Cheers, Jules

     
    • margo roby

      13/02/2014 at 5:15 pm

      I’m watching you closely, Jules. Pax seems intent on hitting everyone. On the Weather this morning they said only one state, Florida, was not being snowed on.

       
      • julespaige

        13/02/2014 at 5:56 pm

        I wonder why they named it Pax as Pax means Peace. Maybe because everyone is getting a ‘piece’?

         
        • margo roby

          13/02/2014 at 5:58 pm

          I just read that a class at some school named all the storms. They were a Latin class, hence all the Greek and Latin names of the storms this year!

           
          • julespaige

            13/02/2014 at 6:10 pm

            I still think hurricanes should be well her – gal names. Silly me.

            I think the news guy said this was the tenth major storm this winter season…well at least for us.

             
            • http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

              14/02/2014 at 1:28 am

              In Western Europe there has been one every two or three days since before Christmas. It is milder than usual but much wetter, hence the floods.

               
              • julespaige

                14/02/2014 at 6:41 am

                Ah, thanks. I wasn’t sure what was causing all of the flooding. Another friend there only mentioned the flooding – but not the cause. No one should have that many.

                I think with this latest storm just our area has close to 45 inches of snow. This latest batch was heavy. And the street drains we uncovered yesterday have been plowed over again. So I’ll have to find them to hopefully ease the situation when melting begins. Then there may, most likely will be flooding here.

                Keep safe, Viv. ~Jules

                 
                • http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

                  14/02/2014 at 8:06 am

                  and you too.

                   
                • julespaige

                  14/02/2014 at 8:14 am

                  That was a total of 45 inches for the season not this storm…this one just left us 12- 18 inches.

                  Just spent another hour out there trying to get more snow shifted and to find the street drains. I think I’ve earned breakfast :)

                   
                • margo roby

                  14/02/2014 at 8:24 am

                  I would say you have! I am eating cereal as I start the blog :-).

                   
  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    13/02/2014 at 4:33 pm

    Overdrive to fill the purse.. sounds like we allways regret that priority in hindsight… I relly like how you got the flow going in this.. very good.

     
  4. claudia

    13/02/2014 at 4:40 pm

    overdrive sounds familiar… living to work or working to live… we can learn from the french here – ha – i always think they’re much better with the work life balance than we are… good thoughts in this margo

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:37 am

      The French are a lot better at a lot of things to do with good living! Thanks, Claudia.

       
  5. Bryan Ens

    13/02/2014 at 4:43 pm

    Although I wrote my poem in pentameter, I always find 10 syllable lines a bit “clunky”. Your choice of tetrameter gave this a really nice flow.

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:38 am

      Thanks, Bryan. I was five lines in when I stopped to count and was fascinated that I appear to do the eight naturally.

       
  6. Hannah Gosselin

    13/02/2014 at 5:06 pm

    Your rhyme placement is interesting and you connect on many universal issues…your final statement is striking, leaves one nodding. :) Well written, so nice to see a Margo poem!

     
    • margo roby

      13/02/2014 at 5:14 pm

      Hannah, I had no choice on the rhyme. The prompt gives us the end words we have to use!

       
  7. Tony Maude

    13/02/2014 at 5:10 pm

    It’s often said that no-one faced with their own mortality wishes they had spent more time at work or made more money – but the way that we live our lives seems to give the lie to that sentiment.

    Thanks for playing the game, Margo. I enjoyed your very thoughtful and thought provoking contribution.

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:39 am

      Insecurity is a frightening thing. Thanks, as always, Tony.

       
  8. kkkkaty1

    13/02/2014 at 5:30 pm

    would like to see the brighter side written as well as this one ;)

     
    • margo roby

      13/02/2014 at 5:54 pm

      The brighter side is that I don’t have to work [retired four years ago] and spend all my time writing!

       
  9. Gay Reiser Cannon

    13/02/2014 at 6:18 pm

    Well done – works together well. We do weigh the value of our days, and the ways we spend our time. Kudos!

     
  10. lupitatucker

    13/02/2014 at 6:39 pm

    I like the theme Margo, and how you wove all of those endings into something deep!

     
  11. Truedessa

    13/02/2014 at 11:01 pm

    While I need money to live I don’t want to live to work..a catch 22 of sorts I guess
    I think it is best to enjoy the special moments of life..filling my purse with joy..

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:40 am

      Keep thinking that and you’ll do fine.

       
  12. Cressida de Nova

    13/02/2014 at 11:35 pm

    Very clever words to fit the rhymes…Enjoyed this one.

     
  13. ramblingsfromamum

    14/02/2014 at 12:28 am

    I sadly went to the dark, it’s a constant battle the work/live question ..sadly we have to survive and when we leave the work force..where has our life indeed gone.. nicely penned Margo.

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:42 am

      I did, too, but am lucky to have a husband who said ‘Of course you can stop working and write’. It cut our income in half and he never blinked.

       
  14. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

    14/02/2014 at 1:33 am

    Margo, you are working towards a sonnet (remember the challenge?) but tetrameter instead of pentameter. Tetrameter suits some themes/moods better, and yours works beautifully.Others demand the 5 beats.and I just go with the flow.

    Being a wage slave restricts our lives horribly, but I am so thankful for the freedom to create that retirement brings

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:43 am

      ViV, you’d be surprised how often that challenge comes to mind. Hmmm… I might go back and work with this.

       
  15. Rachel Hoyt

    14/02/2014 at 1:34 am

    What a lovely poem! I am living on the brighter side these days, but went through a long spell of working too hard and wondering if it was all worth it before I got here.

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:45 am

      Rachel, I know exactly what you mean. I’m glad to be in the sun, so to speak.

       
  16. rosross

    14/02/2014 at 3:31 am

    Such fun and well done, I think you’ve won, with this one. :)

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:45 am

      From a master of poems that rhyme, I take this as a high compliment, Ros. Thank you.

       
  17. hypercryptical

    14/02/2014 at 6:00 am

    Ah – the constant need to fill the purse and how much in life we miss doing so. Beautiful flow here Margo.
    Anna :o]

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 7:31 am

      Thank you, Anna. I was fascinated that the endings took me there.

       
  18. Kathryn Dyche Dechairo

    14/02/2014 at 8:29 am

    I really loved this . . . loved how you worked with the words and the whole living to work, working to live and whether its all worth it.

     
    • margo roby

      14/02/2014 at 8:36 am

      Thank you so much, Kathryn. I’ll be over later to read yours. I have a blog to get out first.

       
  19. rmp

    15/02/2014 at 9:50 am

    I wonder if there is a way back from the dark side….it’s so easy to get caught up there and not even know it.

    I enjoyed the flow of this piece. the tetra meter gave it a nice pace.

     
    • margo roby

      15/02/2014 at 9:52 am

      Thank you, muchly.

      There is a way back but it’s long and the dark never quite leaves.

       
  20. Abhra Pal

    17/02/2014 at 12:50 pm

    You said it very rightly – this was a brain tickler.

    that which in my soul I nurse?
    I worship in a different church

    Liked the effect very much!

     

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