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Poem in Response to The Sunday Whirl

11 Nov

Good day, to you. I am so happy to have a poem. Of course, it happens on a morning when I am going out and can’t sit and enjoy my rounds, but… [shrugs shoulders]. No title as yet. ProcessĀ  pretty simple. As soon as I had copied the words, I began to join them with phrases. When I knew I was talking about poetry, bob’s your uncle.

Without poetry there are no birds
never any birds –
only rocky ground, dry brooks,
and phantom walls –
no wood to set fire to,
no leaping hearts,
only hollow lives.

For new people, this was created from a collection of words that we find every Sunday over at The Sunday Whirl, thank to Brenda. Be sure to visit and see what others have done with the same words.

 
37 Comments

Posted by on 11/11/2012 in exercises, poetry, writing

 

Tags: , , , , ,

37 responses to “Poem in Response to The Sunday Whirl

  1. barbara_

    11/11/2012 at 9:02 am

    The rephrase-never any birds–really snags me. Then you repeat the rhythm in the next line. Neat.
    Funny, mine turned out to be about poetry, too.

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 9:10 am

      I noticed! I’m on your site now [thanks to wordpress' nifty comment bar].

       
  2. Daydreamertoo

    11/11/2012 at 9:25 am

    Poetry is life. Even the ancients told us their history through poetry and prose. Without it, I agree, life is hollow.
    So much truth said in these concise words Margo. Great poem and wordle.

     
  3. Misky

    11/11/2012 at 9:26 am

    I so appreciate the tightness of thought in this. No extra bouffant stuff to puff it up; just lean and clean, and right to the point. Love it.

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 10:59 am

      I love when lean and clean happens!

       
  4. nan

    11/11/2012 at 10:00 am

    Wow – just wow. Concise and saying so much with the words. I adore the first two lines.

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 10:59 am

      Thanks, nan. I confess those are my favourite.

       
  5. brenda w

    11/11/2012 at 10:21 am

    Perfection. It reads with deep truth, like a classic.

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 11:01 am

      Thank you, Brenda. I couldn’t do it without you.

       
  6. magicalmysticalteacher

    11/11/2012 at 10:36 am

    Minimalist! I like it very, very much!

    Seven Haiku with Simon

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 11:00 am

      Thank you. Coming from someone who is very good at minimalist, I appreciate that.

       
  7. vivinfrance

    11/11/2012 at 10:43 am

    This is a microcosm of the world that poetry opens for us. Absolutely beautiful. And a perfect use of the wordle words.

    There’s a nice walk up on my blog: http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/november-11-walk/

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 11:03 am

      ViV! I loved the walk. I walked it two or three times. What a wonderful way to take us with you.

       
  8. claudsy

    11/11/2012 at 11:21 am

    Very good, Margo. Thoroughly enjoyed this wordle.

     
    • margo roby

      11/11/2012 at 11:55 am

      Hi, Claudsy. Thank you.

       
      • claudsy

        11/11/2012 at 12:05 pm

        You’re welcome, Margo.

         
  9. 1sojournal

    11/11/2012 at 12:26 pm

    This struck me (perhaps because of the repeat in the second line) as a personal love song. So glad and grateful that you made it public. Mind if I sing along?

    Elizabeth

    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/staring-into-the-future/

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:50 pm

      You are quite right, Elizabeth. I had that in the way back of my mind as I wrote, without thinking directly about it. I am glad you saw that. You may always sing along.

      margo

       
  10. Annette Mickelson

    11/11/2012 at 12:40 pm

    Amen! You did a fantastic job with these words. So succinct, so accurate, so musical.

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:48 pm

      Musical sent me back up to reread, Annette. I see what you mean :-).

       
  11. Marianne

    11/11/2012 at 3:35 pm

    WOW! This is a stunner. And so true! Without poetry, there are most definitely no birds!

     
  12. Laurie Kolp

    11/11/2012 at 5:16 pm

    Wow, Margo- You managed to include the wordle words in such a tight and powerful poem.

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:52 pm

      I love it when I can get away with as few additions as possible, Laurie. It’s fun when it comes together.

       
  13. Irene

    11/11/2012 at 5:47 pm

    The expansion of that first line really works,Margo. I don’t have much time/energy left for poeming these days. But I am still writing.

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:54 pm

      I am sorry you are that tired, Irene. Wish I could tell you things get better from my point of view as elder. They get different and sometimes that helps. Don’t forget to give yourself treats in the middle of your days. Important!

       
  14. PJF Sayers

    11/11/2012 at 5:50 pm

    “Not great” you said, I beg to differ, Margo. How you managed all the words in such a succinct piece is amazing, and your theme (like Barb’s) is lovely. I am late reading today, I went for a long walk, it is sunny and muy amable outside. :)

    Pamela

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:55 pm

      I love days like that, Pamela! We have rain today but all the other days are gorgeous. I thank Brenda for the words and my eyes for seeing the connections when I copy them down.

      margo

       
  15. Joseph Harker

    11/11/2012 at 10:44 pm

    Lovely! The “no wood to set fire to” was my favorite, I think. It’s nice when a short poem sums up so much, and you don’t even realize it until it sinks in.

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:56 pm

      Why, thank you, sir. nice to see you. That line was a last minute, as I was getting ready to post line and much better than what came before. Lordy, I love writing.

       
  16. De Jackson

    12/11/2012 at 2:28 pm

    What a fantastically pithy piece, Margo.
    “no wood to set fire to” is so wonderful. An amazing piece.

     
    • margo roby

      12/11/2012 at 2:57 pm

      I am fond of pith, de. Good to see you.

       
  17. Andra Negroiu

    13/11/2012 at 9:19 am

    A very nice read. You only realize the depth of the piece after reading it a couple of times and letting it sink in, but once you do, it kind of stays with you.
    It’s interesting that my wordle turned out to be about poetry as well. :)

     
    • margo roby

      13/11/2012 at 10:36 am

      Hello and welcome, Andra! I think three of us ended up with that. If you haven’t read Barbara’s head over. It’s fun to see three different styles, same topic.

      I have been over to your site, but your comment thing was giving me fits, so here is my comment :-):

      Lovely to visit. I made myself at home :-).

      I agree with de, your use of strong nouns and verbs makes your imagery incredible. I like too many to choose, although I started with a couple!

      margo

       
  18. pmwanken

    15/11/2012 at 10:11 pm

    Oh, I love the power of the concise. I’m only just now getting around to reading, as I only just now used the wordle words this week! I couldn’t let the early words for #83 land in my inbox before I wrote #82!! Anyway…very lovely to have you back wordling. *hugs*

     
    • margo roby

      20/11/2012 at 8:24 am

      There is something really joyful about saying something in a few words, isn’t there? I am glad to be back, although it looks like an on again, off again thing :-/.

       

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