pulled for revision
Posted by margo roby on 18/05/2011 in exercises, poetry, writing
Tags: creative, exercises, imagery, metaphor, metaphors, poem, poems, poetry, prompts, Wallace Stevens, We Write Poems, Writers Resources, writing, Writing Exercises
18/05/2011 at 9:06 am
What a marvellous idea, Margo. Thirteen small poems seemed impossible when I read the prompt. THEN I read your thirteen and am smiling with pleasure. Thank you for this one.
18/05/2011 at 9:17 am
You are welcome, Viv. And I did write them all in an evening, so I know it’s doable [also why revision is needed!].
18/05/2011 at 9:48 am
What a great idea for a prompt. I didn’t think it was possible at first but you showed me that it is.
18/05/2011 at 9:56 am
Thank you, Tilly Bud. It is indeed possible. I figured people would balk if I didn’t do a response myself. I am glad you might try it now, if We Write Poems sets it.
18/05/2011 at 11:11 am
This is an awesome idea. It also reminds of the move “Thirteen Conversations About One Thing”…which I’ve not yet seen but know a bit about, and I wonder if the director/screenwriter knew about old Wallace and his poem. In a weird way, this also takes advantage of repetition kind of like a ghazal…each stanza ending the same way and about the same thing. The poem you wrote for it was a gem, as well.
18/05/2011 at 11:35 am
Thank you, Nicole!
anjum wasim dar
18/05/2011 at 1:08 pm
why did Wallace Stevens choose – number 13?
18/05/2011 at 1:25 pm
Anjum: I suspect because black birds are often associated with bad luck…but I wouldn’t swear to it..
18/05/2011 at 6:54 pm
Love the prompt, and your poem had words whispering in my ear in response. This one I like. At first, 13 seems like a lot, but you made it clear that if we choose carefully, it shouldn’t be all that difficult. I think I will try this one.
18/05/2011 at 7:21 pm
Have fun with it, Elizabeth. I did give people an out by saying between 8 and 13, but making myself do the 13 made me think, which I liked. I am already looking for more red associations to replace a couple of not so strong stanzas.
Margo, when I first read the prompt, I thought, oh my.
What beautiful results, and you made it look so easy.
Which I am sure it is not.
Love that especially.
18/05/2011 at 7:19 pm
Pamela, if you jot down all your associations with your chosen item, it becomes easier. I also went through Stevens’ poem and looked to see what he did within each stanza: metaphor, season, myth, movement…the lipstick was fun. I was playing with the stain on the collar and that popped up.
18/05/2011 at 7:29 pm
The way you made us see red was wonderful. From the matador to the pomegranate to red leaves, etc, every one adds to the tide. The prompt is wonderful. I’m glad Neil got everyone to put on their thinking hats because more heads are better than one. Thank you Margy.
18/05/2011 at 7:34 pm
Thank you, Irene. And I’m glad Neil came up with it too. I would hate to have missed out on my own response :)
18/05/2011 at 11:54 pm
Another great idea for stretching the writer’s skills. Looking forward to a turn with this one.
A bit of pride
and a soft red blush
19/05/2011 at 8:57 am
Thank you, Yousei, and I love that your comment includes a stanza!
20/05/2011 at 12:58 am
n icely done indeed….and red lipstick is always inviting…thanks for this
20/05/2011 at 7:47 am
Thanks, Wayne…and there is, isn’t there…something about even the phrase red lipstick.
20/05/2011 at 6:35 pm
‘lipstick on your collar
told a tale on you
lipstick on your collar
said you were untrue’
reading through the responses I remembered this pop song and yet another on ‘Blackbirds’ M -Sing a song of sixpence , a pocketful of rye-four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie’- now now now- 4 +20=24-The King and Queen were fine but the maid got something nasty from the b-b -in the song”…I was thinking about the significance of the number 24-
half of 24=12
3= 1 place value
21/05/2011 at 9:12 am
I love math when people show me the tricks it can do. That’s amazing, Anjum!
20/05/2011 at 10:56 pm
I read your blog because I checked under the ‘imagery’ tag and saw you had more comments than my blog so I thought this must be something special — and it was. I loved your ‘red’ poem and have a\dded youir blog to my list of favourites
21/05/2011 at 9:01 am
I love your reason for visiting to check me out, John.Thank you for your kind words. In case you want to wander, Tuesdays are exercises; Thursdays are thoughts on writing; Fridays are a roundup of the fun and interesting prompts around.
21/05/2011 at 1:45 pm
Margo its the science of numbers by Cheiro that I studied for a while and if one starts looking at numerical data indeed it has amazing features and capabilities. there has to be something of 4s and 8s in your life or the number 5 somewhere-or lastly the number 2 – which magnetically is affecting the writers relationship -see if you can find some odd facts of 4s and 8s -whenever you have the time to spare-something interesting will definitely come up
21/05/2011 at 1:59 pm
Interesting, Anjum. I shall have a think on it. Do you know that when you speak of numbers you are less Gemini-ish?
21/05/2011 at 4:29 pm
Thank You M for the complement , in fact this answers a pressing question in my mind- to some extent but I request your goodself for more on -how do I release myself from the disturbing shackles of the non serious, fun loving, tricky time wasting, twins-one way is to take science and numbers as my focus and then weave the fabric and create the traces on it….but please tell me more -where am I less of the II
22/05/2011 at 6:59 am
Margo, I am much and deliciously amused (why later on).
I very much like your prompt as well the breath you gave into it. Graceful poem, like so many gusts of colored breeze. A certainty for us to include with WWP. Simplicity can be its’ own reward, a willing patient eye, a scribbled hand to pause, reflect the common place into greater depth. Lovely. Meaning the prompt idea (do I recall an uncertain thought?), meaning the poem too.
And more, a task, something that comes to be filled as close as any sit, near or far, all adapt to this attention so dedicated. Right here at fingertips! Draws a focus both inwardly and out – a perfect fit. And list-poems, no matter the name of the rose, have been sweet to me long long time.
(It’s way too late. My mind wandering.)
So here’s that “joke” as you’ll see. A little rough, a little more primitive but,
mariquitas gusta comer
Thanks Margo for everything!
22/05/2011 at 2:57 pm
24/05/2011 at 8:38 am
Neil, I can see why you are deliciously amused. I can picture you, now that I know the later on, chuckling as you read through my poem.
I loved reading through yours, but have put it aside for a reread, after I revise my own. I wrote to deadline, having not come up with an idea until Monday night. Some of the stanzas, while fun, aren’t as strong as I would like. The revision will be almost as fun as coming up with the original stanzas. I like this type of poeming.
I had forgotten about you and lists. List poems were how I first knew you, but you have written many different things since, and I had forgotten your penchant.
Now back to check on tomorrow’s creation (hehheh) which is marinating.
25/05/2011 at 8:00 pm
Margo, I think this is a great idea. A poetry teacher I know has used this idea with my students, and it has been successful. I look forward to it. I like how you stuck with color; Wallace Stevens did use blackbird, after all.
25/05/2011 at 9:22 pm
Thank you, Richard. I am looking forward to reworking this. It was such fun the first time through. Colour allows entry from so many points that I’m not sure an object would, but I’m going to try that too.
19/08/2011 at 8:20 pm
Margo, This is great….I’m feeling blocked right now, and was out looking for prompts. You are the “it” girl at We Write Poems, and I’m giving it a whirl. I’ll post it next week. Thank you for the inspiration.
22/08/2011 at 10:10 am
I have always wanted to be an ‘it’ girl, Brenda, although I didn’t know until you told me I was one :-) Can’t wait to see the poem. I think this form presents so many opportunities but, in some ways, a lower level of stress. We all know we can write poems that size.
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